The best things life aren’t “things” at all. Several small, but meaningful, moments reminded me of this throughout the holidays as I reconnected with old friends, family and, best of all, my husband. Yesterday, a not-so small moment changed my life. Touched my soul. And left me the strangest combination of speechless and elated that I’ve ever been.
My little sister is pregnant. This was not new information. I’ve known since October when my mom told me just a few days before the Chicago marathon because she was afraid I’d see it on FB (oh, how technology has changed our lives!). She started showing around Thanksgiving so you’d think I’ve had plenty of time to process this by now.
When I got the call that she was having her 18-week sonogram and would find out the sex of the baby, I knew I had to make time to be there. You don’t get these moments back. I knew it would be exciting. I even knew better than to wear mascara. But, I still had no idea how thrilling it would be to see baby’s little fingers as s/he opened a hand to wave at the monitor and to hear the little heart beating a whopping 138 bpm. ‘Sis decided that she wanted to wait to learn the sex of the baby at the same time as her husband, who couldn’t be there. I, of course, totally peeked and can’t wait until she opens the pictures we tucked away in an envelope for her!!
It was one the happiest moments of my life to watch her and my mom watch the monitor as peanut wiggled and waved. We sat there awestruck for nearly an hour.
When I got in my car to head to back to work, the strangest thing happened. All I could do was cry…
I cried because she is so happy to be a mom. I cried because my mom is so happy to be a grandmother. I cried because I wished it was me. A big sister is supposed to be able to answer questions, hand down baby clothes, and commiserate about all those not-so great aspects of being pregnant that no one tells you about until you’re living it. But, this is the life that I’ve been given (and, don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty great one). Instead, someday I will be asking her questions and taking her advice. Suddenly, I realized that I was also crying because I’m excited that this will bring us closer together and form a bond that we probably can’t even imagine.
Then, my phone rang. Work was snapping me back into reality, and I toiled away the entire drive back. I rushed from work to cycling and, finally, home. Even as I laid in bed, I was still reflecting on the day. I waited until this morning to put it into words because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being overly dramatic (not that I have a tendency to that, of course). I wasn’t. It was magical.
So, thank you, ‘sis… For letting me be a part of your special day. For not yelling at me when you found out that I peeked. And, in case I forget, for all the great moments we are going to share in the coming years.