Purpose, it’s that little flame
that lights a fire under your ass.
Purpose, it keeps you going strong
like a car with a full tank of gas.
Everyone else has a purpose.
Princeton, Avenue Q
As a new mama, it’s easy to get down. To feel exhausted. To feel overwhelmed. To feel isolated. Because, frankly, you are.
As I left the house one afternoon, all I could think about was in which order I should tackle my errands. I wanted to make sure that the most important ones got done first … just in case Reece decided he was done with our little field trip and needed to be changed or fed. Sure, I could do it on the road, but it’s much easier and more comfortable for both of us at home. So, I had about two hours to do all the things on my ever-growing list.
Initially, I felt frustrated and even a little resentful.
But, then, I realized that I also felt something much more powerful :: Proud and Fulfilled.
Somehow, I don’t really mind being beholden to my little man’s schedule. There’s something incredibly rewarding in knowing that Reece’s health and well-being is inextricably intertwined with my own. I take pride in staying hydrated, eating well, exercising regularly, and adopting some pretty wacky sleep schedules not just for myself, but for him. By all accounts, it’s working because he’s growing like a weed and gets more content each day!
This feeling is strangely familiar. I’ve had the same sense of pride and satisfaction during marathon training, though it is much deeper now. Rather than feeling deprived when I declined a second glass of wine, late-night party plans, or deep-fried foods, I was proud of all the hard work I was doing. I was determined to stick with the plan. And I knew it would pay off in the end. (Thankfully, it always has.)
I only accomplished two of the five things on my errand list that day, but the outing was a huge a success nonetheless because it completely changed my perspective.
I am extremely blessed to have another 8 weeks before I have to start thinking about the gut-wrenching transition back to work. And I’m going to savor every single second of it. Because for 8 more precious weeks, my one and only purpose in life is to be the best mama I can be.
~your simple little B